A few weeks ago, I had a very cool chat with journalist Heloisa Marra about my life with scoliosis, how I dealt with the deformity throughout my youth, and how I face it all today. Our conversation was so interesting that she published it on Zoom TV. Between one question and another, we addressed how I managed to overcome scoliosis in adolescence and adulthood. This question was so insightful that it struck me: it wasn't just in one way but in two different ways.
Support network during adolescence with scoliosis
When we are young and a big challenge like scoliosis hits us out of the blue, we feel lost and unsure of what to do. The truth is, even for adults, it's very difficult, let alone for children. At this stage, around 11-12 years old, when adolescent idiopathic scoliosis typically emerges, we are discovering our bodies and minds, we are in a learning process, transitioning from childhood to a complex stage of life - adolescence. So, how do you deal with this bomb that requires a lot of resilience, discipline, focus, strength, and faith? I'll speak for myself.
When I found out I had a curved spine and that I would need to undergo a long treatment, with no guarantee of success, I leaned on the strength of my friends and family. Somehow, I don't even know how I understood that my support network was the path to my salvation and mental health. And it was! Without the laughter with the girls, and often tears, without their hugs - mine was stiff - without the comforting words they gave me, without the nights talking and gossiping about school, I wouldn't have survived the Milwaukee brace. Seriously! There was one Carnival, when I was around 13 or 14 years old, that I spent at Delana's house in Guarujá (those who read my books know who she is). Even with that contraption covering me entirely, it was one of the most fun holidays of my life. We laughed so much, enjoyed ourselves so much, and met so many people, that everything became unforgettable.
What I mean by all this is that I overcame my scoliosis in adolescence through others, through the affection and support I received. The strength came from outside. That's what fueled me for many years.
Therapy in Adulthood
As time went by, I was discharged from the brace, underwent scoliosis surgery, and became an adult. That's when I felt the weight of not having the support of a professional psychologist when I needed it most. Seriously. I grew up and it felt like the bomb dropped all at once on my shoulders. I felt like I had developed a strong inferiority complex, that my self-esteem was extremely shaken, that I started to dread everything, and that my support network was no longer my salvation. I understood that I needed to do something for myself.
And so, finally, I started therapy. I needed to understand that whirlwind in my head and my feelings, and, more than that, I needed to learn to find the strength to deal with life, in other words, to be strong and draw energy from myself and not so much from others, as I did in my youth. Of course, the process of seeking from others what I needed was natural, as it is for many children. We have no maturity at all and we should never deal with everything alone. However, I learned, through years of therapy, that relying on one's strength is also very important, after all, true happiness comes from within, no matter how cliché that sounds. Over the past few years, I have been working on self-esteem and, mainly, the fear I have of many things. And therapy works, you know! I've improved a lot and because of that, I live my days much lighter.
When Heloisa asked me that question, I realized right away: that I overcame scoliosis in two different ways, at two different times, but I always found a way to face it, which at the end of the day, is what matters most!
Think about it and find your strength. It exists!
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