Every day we have the chance to choose how we want to live. Every day we wake up and are allowed to write our story the way we want. This is much more about mental attitude than the actual impact of external factors that life constantly presents. There's a text by Carlos Drummond de Andrade that I love and even included at the beginning of my first book:
"Every day that I live, I become more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we don't give, strengths we don't use, the selfish prudence that risks nothing, and by avoiding suffering, we also lose happiness. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
True or true? Who doesn't go through pain, whether it's physical or emotional? This is something we can't avoid, right? But we can always choose how we face the challenges. We can sink into suffering and live in constant lament, or we can look at everything from a different perspective and move forward with humor, lightness, hope, and strength. I'm not saying we shouldn't acknowledge what we're going through in that phase and allow ourselves to cry, be sad, and even be alone in our corner. Of course, we can do all of that, because we need to respect our feelings. However, it's important to understand that this doesn't have to be our daily choice. As our feelings settle within us, we can choose to return to living happily and with joy, even amid difficulties.
Thinking about this, I've brought up three daily choices we can make regarding the fact that we have a crooked spine:
1. Not accepting yourself as they are OR loving yourself above all
Accepting scoliosis is a fundamental step to regaining a happy life. This condition doesn't define us in any way. It's a treatable physical problem that we can live with in most cases. When we don't accept ourselves as we are, suffering only increases, self-esteem plummets, and self-love ceases to exist. Is that what you want for yourself? Think about it! In the post "Despite the crooked spine, I love myself" I write more about this theme, which I consider essential for making a healthier choice (loving oneself above all). Tips:
- Focus on what you like about yourself: concentrate on the things you like about your appearance, personality, and abilities. Reinforce these positive aspects and celebrate your unique qualities.
- Dress up and take care of yourself: taking care of your personal appearance can work wonders for your self-esteem. Choose clothes that make you feel good and invest in personal care that makes you feel confident. In this interview that I did with image consultant Helen Pomposelli, we talked a lot about the importance of self-care.
- Practice self-compassion: be kind to yourself and avoid negative self-criticism. We all have our imperfections and challenges, and that's part of the human experience.
2. Isolating oneself from the world OR seeking emotional support
We often feel a lot of shame about our crooked spine, after all, it deforms our trunk in many cases and leaves us completely asymmetrical. This deeply affects our emotions and truly shakes us. In response to this, some people prefer to isolate themselves, and live in a parallel world, in their room, without friends, and without a social life. When this happens, it's clearly necessary to seek emotional help, and we have this option. We can open our eyes to a new morning and tell ourselves that there is a life with scoliosis and that we want to help ourselves get back to a social routine without being ashamed of our condition. Tips:
- Talk to a healthcare professional: If you have been diagnosed with scoliosis, talk to your doctor or an orthopedic specialist. They can provide detailed information about your condition, and treatment options, and direct you to other support resources.
- Physical therapy: A physical therapist can not only help with scoliosis treatment but also offer emotional support. They can teach specific exercises, and stretching techniques, and provide advice on how to manage pain and discomfort related to scoliosis.
- Support groups: Joining support groups for people with scoliosis can be an effective way to share experiences, get emotional support, and exchange information with others facing similar challenges. Many support groups also have an online presence, which can be a convenient option.
- Psychotherapy or counseling: If you are experiencing significant emotional difficulties due to scoliosis, consider individual therapy with a psychologist or therapist. They can help you cope with stress, anxiety, and any emotional impact the condition may have on your life.
- Support from family and friends: Share your feelings and concerns with your family and friends. They can be a valuable source of emotional support and understanding. This worked for me and continues to work for me today.
- Education and information: Sometimes, fear and uncertainty stem from a lack of knowledge about scoliosis. Getting informed about the condition can help alleviate anxiety and enable you to make informed decisions about treatment.
3. Thinking negatively OR having a positive attitude about the crooked spine
This choice is crucial. Often, we are invaded by horrible thoughts and fantasies that will never come true. It's much more about our fears than the actual reality. Therefore, you can dispel these thoughts by replacing them with much better ones. When a negative thought comes, throw it in the trash and automatically bring a good one to the surface. This changes lives!!! Try doing this every day, and you will see a significant change in your state of mind. Tips for positive attitudes:
- Set realistic goals: establish realistic goals for yourself, whether related to treatment, posture improvement, or pain reduction. Achieving these goals can be a source of motivation and positivity.
- Educate yourself: the more you understand your condition, the better you can manage it. Learn about scoliosis, the available treatment options, and the care you can take to maintain a good quality of life.
- Be grateful: focus on the things you are grateful for in your life, beyond scoliosis. Gratitude can help redirect your attention to positive aspects and strengthen your positive mindset.
- Keep a journal: writing about your experiences, emotions, and thoughts in a journal can be a therapeutic way to cope with scoliosis. This can help release emotions and organize your thoughts.
- Engage in activities you love: focus on your passions and hobbies. Participating in activities that make you feel good can lift your spirits and keep your focus away from the challenges of scoliosis.
- Visualize success: imagine a future where you are coping well with scoliosis, whether through successful treatments, improved posture, or reduced pain. Positive visualization can strengthen your motivation.
So, what's your choice for today? Tell me!!!
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